yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
me + whiskey = a bad person
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
