His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
