Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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