Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
