Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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