So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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