He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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