"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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