My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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