So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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