Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
