Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
