you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
