They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
