Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
