i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
