I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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