honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
