stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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