you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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