I puked a lego.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It's not a walk of shame if you run
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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