Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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