Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
