Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
