Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
