sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
