For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
