a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
you never un-have a 4some
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
