3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
