I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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