I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
