So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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