That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
