Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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