What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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