it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
