She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
