I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
