So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
did i just pee glitter
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
