Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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