I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
