Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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