and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
