Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I love black thongs
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
