if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
