i was born a porn star she said
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
