Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
