is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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