I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
