STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
